Getting Back to Me!!

Hey All, It's been two freaking years since I've last blogged; although I have had trillions of things to blog about. I mean....TRILLIONS!! New loves, new friendships, new drama ( well events that could have turned into drama), new vehicle, new degree, etc. I am back to 'me'. A few things in my past concerning Dantel is still lingering, but if the woman who is still 'pining' for him, moves on with her life and pursue her happiness, all is well. I have no time for slackers and that is exactly what he is. No good job, still at home with mom and no pending clue of what to do with the rest of his life. At the time I'm writing this, his 35 birthday was yesterday. 35 yall....lol! I've known him since he was 21 and somehow saw his life going in an entirely different direction. But, alas, he has entirely too many 'stiflers' around him; those who pretend to want what's best for him, but in reality want to see him fail. I've tried to warn him and be a listening ear for him, but to no avail. Oh, well....his miserable life; not mine. Now, back to me! I am currently working on the launch of my new online magazine which places on emphasis on the black women in my community...their hopes, dreams, desires, endeavors and accomplishments. Pending copyright, I am looking forward to the launch as early as next month. There are a lot of positive men and women in my community who need a platform to showcase their causes. I am hoping to establish the magazine and inspire other people of color to jump on board and become guests on the Obsidian train of success! Look for more information about my magazine and other adventures in the near future. Smooches Carla

Black Butterfly...Life's Theme

This is my song; one of R. Kelly's greatest in my opinion and it describes every aspect of who I am for myself and for the opposite sex. Trust me, I've been told on MANY occasions!! LOL Enjoy, readers. Oh, and HAPPY NEW YEAR!!!!

Forever, For Always, For Love

Sitting here working on a Powerpoint Presentation, listening to Pandora and thinking about...HIM. There are just some ppl you NEVER get over and he's it for me. We've had so many good times that outweigh any bad things that have tried to come between us. He still loves me and I, him. No other man will ever compare to him..NONE!! I love him wholeheartedly and without any doubts. No other woman can capture his heart like I have and no other woman can give him what I have mentally, emotionally, physically or spiritually.
Will I pursue the relationship? Probably not because I am on a totally different level than I was in my past. I love him, but I have to live my life. We both want different things out of life. But, he'll always be my one true love...ALWAYS. If I could say to him what makes me be the most in love with him..it would be his loyalty. Despite everything, he's loyal to me and I will remain loyal to him.
If this was another time, I would call him and allow him to call me. When we do have conversations, there is always a pink elephant in the room. I want to say to him, let's try it again and he wants to ask me to visit him or for permission to visit me. I wish I could go back to the 'good ole times' but that is not for us right now. If God wants us to be together...there is no WOMAN on this Earth who can stop it regardless of whatever HIStory she claims to have with him. He's my past, my present and my future. ALWAYS. Damn...I need to download Lalah right about now. LOL Naw...fuck it...I need some Heather Headley right now...cause in my mind, in my soul, in my heart..I will always be his lady.
Smooches, y'all

Thoroughly Living For Today

With the previous post out of the way addressing stupidity, let me take this time to wish my followers a very prosperous and Happy New Year! God already has a plan for each one of us, we just have to ( like Tyrese says)'get out of our own way'.

So many wonderful things have happened in my life since I've last blog in June of last year. I have my second Masters in Business and am now working on my Masters in Education. Time doesn't allow for ignorance, not in my world, not on my watch. LOL

My two oldest kids are graduating college this year, my 9 year old, Tamyr is doing exceptionally well in school as well as, my 7 year old Winter. They are both very much animated and outspoken, which is something I've always encouraged in my children. You are a voice in this world and deserve to be heard. I teach them about being positive and treat others like they want to be treated, but not to a fault. If someone is bringing unnecessary drama to your life, give it back. But most importantly, do it in such a way that you still have your dignity and the other person feels so 'little' without you having ever used profanity or resorted to putting your hands on them.

I am also happy with my friends and extended family. I love my co-workers and simply adore my students!! The summer of 2012 will see me making MAJOR moves in my life....physically, emotionally, professionally, and daringly. There are parts of my life that have been less than favorable, but that's the thing about life....if you live it long enough,you will encounter many 'oops'! I'm happy for EVERYTHING that life has thrown at me, and look forward to the rest of my journey.

I'm living my life for today and haven't any regrets or apologies for anything that I have done to ensure my happiness. It is what it is. I don't blame anyone for anything that has transpired in my life. I'm not a fool and know that one person can't make another person do anything they DONT already want to do or have done before you came along. Nothing new. I'm not sitting around complaining, biting my damn nails, blogging, crying, pouting about a damn thing. I would miss out on so much by holding a pity party in which I am the only damn guest!!

Everybody has problems, issues, and things going on in their lives and honestly adding your bullshit to the list of their worries only makes matters worse. I will continue to do what it takes to make me happy; whatever it is. And honestly, I don't give a fuck about how someone feels about it. If if was meant for you, you would have gotten it, it would have worked out for you, or came to you. Duh!! I love me. I love my children. I fear God and tread very lightly when it comes to fake people. I have an discern spirit when it comes to people trying to get over, I smell bitchassness from a damn mile away.

Anyway, thanks for reading. Until next time, which for right now, God knows when that'll be....Smooches!!!

Mocha

Moving On...NEXT!!

Let me just be brief. This is a new year....2012; not 2001 or the years in between up until now. What happened in the damn past needs to STAY in the damn past. I will not oblige any bitterness to intrude on my happiness. It's over and done with and so a whole other DECADE ago. There can't be much happiness in your life if you're constantly dwelling on the past. When you have trash in your house, you throw it out, never to bring it back inside,right? Now, do the same with bullshit,fake forgiveness and lost loves....MOVE ON!! Whining about what may have been is a sad attempt to convince others that you are the 'bigger' person. Silence is golden...use it!! Happy New Year and New Life. 2012 has many amazing, wonderful possibilites for me and mine and I'm getting as much of it as I can, without interruptions. With that said, I WILL NOT address bitchassness in the New Year, afterall, 'we' know the 'real' truth.

Smooches
Mocha

A Love Lost...Maybe Pt.2

I know it's been quite sometime since I've lasted posted here. As a matter of fact, ths will be the first blog post of 2011. Why? Haven't had much I wanted to share with the public!! I know. What's the point of having a damn blog post then, huh? Anyway....I'm back and fully rejuvenated in life!!
A few months ago, I posted a blog about my best friend in Memphis. Yes, my 6'8er knows about him. Every man I've ever met knows about my best friend. Why not? This man is a very, very important part of my life. Although we've had out ups and downs and our two signs seem to always crash...he's a Aries and I'm a Pisces, we ALWAYS find a way to get over the bullshit and remain the best of friends. He knows my every secret and I his. We've had a misunderstanding over a text in the last month or so which means no phone calls, texts, emails, tweets....nothing. When I'm pissed, I'm pissed. Anyway, he called me tonight out of the blue to say he missed me. WTF? It was good to hear that, especially from him, but it wasn't like some new revelation. At times, we have been each other's condfidant, backbone, the very essence of what makes each other sane in this crazy world of relationships. I hate the fact that we haven't talked because I missed out on some much. He is a new proud father of a healthy baby boy!! I'm so glad for him because he's always wanted children every since I met him. There are some issues with the babymama, as usual, but he's working on taking care of that and I'll be here for him as much as he needs me to be. See, one thing about him and from here on out I'll just refer to him as 'V'; is that he is a man's man. Never has he lied to me about anything. How do I kknow this to be true? Because I am a thorough investigator when it comes to the opposite sex and I can smell a damn lie when it comes out of their mouths. I credit all my mf-ing exes for this attribute to my senses!! With 'V', I would walk through all types of bullshit and to the ends of the Earth and back with him. I love him and have been in love with him for 6 years. Why are we NOT in a relationship? I don't want to ruin the friendship. We've been intimate and the whole 9, but I cherish the closeness we have as friends more than anything. We have our differences but the good thing about it is we always iron things out and become even closer. I can tell you this, if you fuck with me, you'll soon found out how deep our friendship is. A few years ago, he almost shot a guy at a club over me!! That's not bragging rights, that's the effen truth!! He's told me on several occasions that he would take a bullet for me anyday. And I would do the same for him. I miss him when we're not talking and I long for his lips, his expertise in the bedroom and his long, late night talks, but jeopardize an already good friendship-relationship...NEVER. God has placed this man in my life to help me walk through bullshit that I have suffered at the hands of other undeserving brothas. He's very harsh when it comes to telling me the truth about a situation and I am critical of his making fucked up decisions in his life. I know deep down that my love for him is the reason no other relationship quites work out, except with 6'8er and that's because he's mild-mannered and a real man also. My babies love both these men and have had been partially raised by them. But 'V' is the constant force in my life, Winter's god-father and NaShun's favorite 'uncle'. Almost perfect,huh? Only time will tell. But, until then, my love for this man will remain the same, never waivering for any other man because they can't give me what he gives me and that's unconditional love. I am glad for my friend's new bundle of joy because I know how he takes care of mine. I will let this blog serves as a homage to him because he deserves it and more. I won't be so long writing another blog. It's just that I have to be inspired, and'V' inspires the hell out of me. #thatisall

Does The Man Or Woman Do The Most Work In Bed?

I want to get your perspective on this. Who do you think puts in the most work?There is not one answer to this because it all depends on what you are doing between the sheets. If a couple is prone to just doing the missionary position I would probably say the man is doing most of the work,even though a woman can be very active in that position. I have had conversations with many men who feel that they are doing most of the work in that position because a lot (not all) women tend to just lay there.

On the flip side (no pun intended) if the woman is on top most time in a cowgirl or reverse cowgirl position she is more prone to be doing most of the work, even though a man can be very active from the bottom as well.

Of course there are many other positions and fetishes that can be done in bed, it just depends on what you are doing in bed and what you are into to determine the balance of the workload.

Lastly, the work can extend outside of the bed in creating an ambiance for if you are into any role-play activities; if so you may want to keep that in mind as well when you are having this debate. Some situations can take a lot of thought, time, and effort.

At the end of day you both should be concerned on pleasing each other rather than being concerned with who is doing most of the work.